Walking this road to eternity..Walk with me, will you?
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Back from Beijing!
Back from an 8-day tour in Beijing with a tired body, heavy luggage, and a newfound respect for Chinese history and culture. Visited palaces, palaces, and more palaces, and tried imagining myself living in those times....Don't laugh, but the tour guide said that I have features from the Manchu tribe - single eyelids, high cheekbones - Who knows, I could have been the Empress then! hehe..
I am blown away by their majestic pillars and structures that are really fit for a King. Walking through these palaces really add to my definition of majestic. While the trip was enjoyable and an eye-opener, it was real tiring lah. I kinda regret packing my holidays back to back that I have no free day to rest.. sighs.. and I missed retreat. =( I didn't think I would miss it, but I guess nothing beats worshipping the King of Majesty with family.
Although the food there was salty and oily, we had like 10-course meals everyday. Now, I have an unflattened tummy, multiple chins, and an additional 3kg... argh..
You know the feeling of "Wow! I have grown so much!" when you read the old posts of your blog? I just read mine, and some memories are so faded I even wondered if they were mine. But what stood out was the content of the posts. Instead of getting the "Wow!", I went "Oh...".
"Oh.. I seemed to be deeper in thoughts last time." "Oh.. I seemed to have a better command of language last time." "Oh.. I seemed to have such a desire for God last time." "Oh.. I had so many insights last time.."
I don't know what changed. Perhaps a change in personality (less melancholic now) due to change in life stage? Or maybe a lack of time to go deep because of the MOM (Mountain of Marking) awaiting me. Worse still, if it's because interacting so much with 7-year-olds have caused my brain to degenerate. Bleah. =(
It's nice to reminisce once in a while and rediscover who I am and who I was.
These are the people that I spend the most time and most energy on - Primary 1B. They train my patience every single day. After prolonged inner torment in Term 1, God has been gracious in giving me more patience for them this term.. There are times I can't help but smile but their funny antics. Looking at the genuine joy that is plastered on their faces makes me smile uncontrollably.
Look how radiant their faces are after receiving sponsored milk from Marigold.
The main gripe of most teachers would be that the children are not listening. I always tell my class, "God gave you 2 ears and 1 mouth. Please listen more than you talk." Alas, I discovered that having 2 ears doesn't mean they listen to you. A spiritual analogy dawned on me only today, and when Jesus said "those who have ears, let him hear", it is so apt!
In my class, there are 4 types of children:
1) Hear what I say, Understand what I say, and Do what I say. 2) Hear what I say, Understand what I say, yet chooses not to do what I say. 3) Appear to hear what I say, but the brain is totally blank/ distracted (must be in lala land..), and obviously, lost and clueless after that.. 4) Talk, talk, and talk. Ears should be chopped off.
I realized that as a hearer of the Holy Spirit's voice, I can fit into any of these 4 categories too! Sadly, category 3 and 4 are common in my life because of distractions. When I am lost and clueless, it's because I haven't been listening!
If I, a mere human, feel exasperated and desperate for my kids to listen to me, how much more our Father in heaven? Everyday, I plead with them to "LISTEN!". Sometimes, drastic measures are required to make sure they are using their ears well - raising the voice, snapping the fingers, tapping them, or staring at them straight in the face until they wake up from their dreams. I'm sure our Creator God is more creative than all these to get us to listen.
If only we will listen, then life would not feel so clueless and directionless.
Only 45min left of my March holidays, and I find myself wandering around aimlessly on the net. Perhaps in denial that the beloved holidays are over as the clock strikes twelve.
Term 1 has flown past, yet I wish it's now Term 4. It's a complicated struggle within me - for one who looked forward to seeing the kids everyday, to wishing everyday was holiday. Sighs.
Anyway, no point sighing. There is a time for everything, and I shall give thanks for the past week. Enjoyed hanging out with different people. Ate yummy food. Taught on the Full Armour of God. Played Bejeweled. Laughed at Mr. X.
Come to think of it, perhaps the heart is not longing for more holidays, but for something more that would fill the inner void. After all, if one is contented in Christ, isn't everyday a holiday?
I just returned from a wake @ Singapore Casket. He is 17, the son of my colleague. He fought hard in the ICU for 5 weeks, before going home to be with the Lord today. Young and promising. Prime of his life. It was heart-wrenching to watch the family mourn with deep sorrow.
At the funeral service, the people sang the song "God will make a way". It was sombre, with not a dry eye in sight. In times like these, it is such a great reminder that He gives and takes away. With a snap of a finger, all will be gone.
Are we living each second of our lives with purpose, or are we just wasting it away? Life is transient.
There has been so many prayer requests lately from different people. This song is for you.
Today, an event in my class reminded me of Genesis 18 - Abraham interceding with God for the people of Sodom. This was what happened:
I had denied awarding stars to 2 groups of students, because some of them were not paying attention in class. They were visibly disappointed, since the stars are more treasured and valued than anything else in their 7-year-old life. At the end of the day, I asked the other 3 groups of children who received their reward already, "Who thinks I should give them the stars?"
A handful of them raised their hands. Andrew spoke up "Let's give them a chance." After hearing that, the rest of them agreed in unison spontaneously. The whole class applauded when they heard my decision to give them a chance.
Did I relent after hearing their intercession? Nope. I had intended to give the 2 groups of students a chance even when I mete out the punishment already, but I took the opportunity to test the hearts of the other 3 groups. Lo and behold, they had caring hearts of compassion.
I think I felt a little of how God felt after he heard Abraham intercede with him: I felt pleased that their hearts are compassionate. =)
A life of grace, hope, and strength, as I walk each day with the Lover of my Soul.. He says to me "I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:9b,10. And so, He is More than Enough for me. =)
